South Africa Sucks Classic - Posted by Bantu Education
From time to time South America is suggested as a viable emigration destination for white South Africans, the main reasoning being that, with some notable exceptions (Colombia and Venezuela in particular), violent crime is low and property prices in particular are much more affordable for S.Africans than the usual emigration choices.
Those who haven’t visited tend to romanticize SAM as a land of tango, gauchos, huge steaks, and fascinating Indian cultures, whilst those who have tend to gush about Iguassu Falls and Macchu Picchu whilst ignoring what I consider a somewhat disappointing reality. Even in the more advanced countries of the “Southern Cone”, SAM contains only a few enclaves of 1st world standard, whilst most of it is 2nd world (Eastern Europe) standard at best, and much of it is run down, scruffy, stray dogs abound, and therefore quite appropriately turd world.
Over the past few years, during 4 visits, I have spent a total of 10 mths traveling through all SAM countries except Brazil (admittedly a major omission), Venezuela, and the 3 nigger-infested former “Guianas”. I traveled especially widely in the “Southern Cone”, the most “European” part, comprising Argentina, Chile, Uruguay, and perhaps Brazils southern provinces. Virtually all travel was overland by the very comfortable long distance buses widely used by the white middle classes. (I like to quip “if only the countries themselves could be as good as these bus services..!”)
Admittedly I stayed in hotels and ate in restaurants, so I cannot say I have actually “lived there”. I heard about some SA émigrés in Paraguay (apparently there are quite a few) but didn’t linger long enough to make contact. Paraguay is the last place I would choose to live in, but having said that I am about to go there again as I write this from Posadas, the Argentine border town on the Rio Parana.
At this point I have to say that despite, or maybe because of, my having traveled to and through almost 120 “countries” (defined at www.centurytravelclub.com) I am the first to admit I am not exactly an easy person to please. I must have graduated from the Paul Theroux school of grouchy travelers rather than the Bill Bryson one of happy travelers where everything and everyone is so nice and just dandy..!
Disregarding the larger question as to whether white South Africans with limited investment funds would be permitted to immigrate in the first place, is any country in S.America a viable emigration destination?
Despite the above attraction, the answer is definitely much more of a NO than a yes. Aside from other matters, language would be the first barrier as, unlike in Europe and most other parts of the world these days, few people speak English so it would be very difficult to do business without a good handle on Spanish.
However, the entrepreneurial minded could probably find some good niche markets because in many ways the locals seem to be mired in conformist attitudes and are way behind most SAFs in drive, innovation and imagination.
Real estate agencies (“immobiliarias”) for example would seem to be very unprofessional compared to SAF. The “Sierras de Cordoba” (central Argentina) has some pleasant towns with very attractive houses built in German quasi-alpine style. But it was difficult to ascertain prices, as they were usually listed as “consulta” (POA), which seems pointless, and the few photos on display were sun faded and curled-up. However they seemed somewhat comparable to SAF prices, and quite possibly less.
The same region, which produces a lot of olives, would also seem ideal for wine cultivation but, aside from some “artisanal” wines for sale in small shops (not very good), there was no sign of any vineyards. Traditionally most Argentine wine, and virtually all the good stuff, has come from the Mendoza region but, as most quality wine is exported anyway, this shouldn’t be a drawback to opening up new areas. There are also vast, apparently quite fertile, areas almost entirely uncultivated. One wonders why Argentina is so obsessed with getting “back” the cold and windswept Falklands when they are sitting on vast tracts of good land they don’t have to invade?
CITIES AND TOWNS are mostly non-descript and frequently rather scruffy and unkempt. Even in parks and “beauty spots” there is a lot of plastic pollution and discarded garbage that doesn’t get collected often if ever. Virtually all are built on a grid plan, with a well-tended park-like plaza, often containing an extravagant statue of the liberation hero, resplendent in cocked-hat, sabre held high, horse rearing on its hind legs. There has to be a factory somewhere churning them out. Not far from the central plaza this well-tended charm usually fades quickly.
BUENOS AIRES (pop’n about 12million, about 30% of Argentina) is vast and ugly. Although it contains some impressively exaggerated buildings and monuments – a repository for 90% of the output of the preposterous statues factory mentioned above – it sprawls far too much and does not have a compact or well-defined historic center. As the grubby metro is not much use, except for going to the suburbs, this means you are reliant on taxis, which is always a pain. Argies like to boast of “the worlds widest avenue”, but most streets in the center are narrow and noisy soot-blackened canyons choked with fuming buses and with pavements so narrow (and broken) it is impossible to walk 2 abreast. Its restaurant-lined Puerto Madero “waterfront” of converted docklands is dreary and not a patch on those in Cape Town or Sydney. As for their over-hyped “casino resort” of Mar del Plata – an ugly concrete sprawl with a very crappy casino.
SANTIAGO (about 5 million) is much cleaner than BA, has an excellent rubber-wheeled subway system, a pleasant riverside park walk (which should be lined with nice cafes/pubs but has nothing), and a very spiffy modern business center (Las Condes). The historic center has a small arty-farty bohemian district – Lastarria – with a few reasonably priced hotels, a couple of vibey music pubs, and a few good (not exactly cheap) restaurants. Although the permanently snow-capped Andes loom close by, this wonderful potential view is always shrouded by a pea-souper smog.
The port of Valparaiso with its antique “ascensores” is interestingly quirky, but carpeted with doggy doo. The adjoining “casino resort” of Vina del Mar is ugly and untidy and does not live up to the promise of its name or its former reputation as a Chilean Monte Carlo.
IQUIQUE
Northern Chile is desert with a scattered handful of coastal towns, south to north they are – La Serena/Coquimbo (quite pleasant) – Antofagasta (awful) – Tocopilla (quaintly scruffy) – Iquique (historic center, huge duty-free electronic goods mall, a long beachfront promenade lined with good apartments) – finally Arica, where it never rains (fairly pleasant beachfront, scruffy town built of plywood and chipboard – apparently a good defense against earthquakes).
VOLCAN OSORNO
Southern Chile has a beautiful volcano-strewn lake district but its towns are typically scruffy and over-run with stray dogs in poor condition. Strange why Chile considers itself a cut above its neighbours in matters of public-health, etc. Previously inhabited by the very warlike Mapuches who slaughtered the early Spanish settlers around 1600, southern settlement was then abandoned for 250 years until the area was finally pioneered by Germans in the 1850’s. Nowadays, sadly, there is no sign of the cleanliness and neatness one might expect from such a legacy.
MONTEVIDEO (about 1.5 million, or 50% of Uruguayans), is easily the most pleasant SAM capital. The original city built on a small peninsula is so compact you can stand in the center of Plaza Zabala and see the sea on 3 sides. Much of it is now very run-down and semi-deserted, but it is slowly being renovated and gentrified. For those who have experience in renovating historic buildings, I would imagine there to be some excellent buying opportunities here. Monte’s best feature is Las Ramblas – a beautiful 13km long beach-side drive lined with smart apartments near the city center and further beyond eastwards towards Carrasco, where the small international airport is located (new terminal under construction), some very impressive big houses backed by smart well-tended tree-lined suburban streets.
All in all, the eastern side of Monte (but not the west) is very first world looking and parts of the Ramblas reminded me of Sea Point (Cape Town) as it was before the post-1994 simian infestation.
Punta del Este is a modern beach/casino resort 2 hours to the east of Monte. If you’ve ever seen a picture of giant fingers rising from the sand, that’s in Punta, but don’t ask me what it means. I don’t like Punta, the place is too uninspiringly modern for my taste, but that’s just me. And why the restaurants are so damn expensive, when the hotels were not, at least when I visited, makes no sense. But obviously there is a lot of money here.
But for my money, the prettiest and most endearing place in Uruguay is the quaintly historic town of Colonia del Sacramento, a one hour fast-ferry ride (3hrs slow ferry) from BA. Excellent opportunities in the tourist sector.
Aside from the River Plate coastal strip and a few towns along the Rio Uruguay, the countryside is virtually unpopulated and must have enormous agricultural potential. So, without going into any other considerations the almost forgotten little country of Uruguay – the size of England but with a fraction of the population – would be my first emigration choice. Somebody should do something about the wine though – its crap…!
ETHNIC MAKEUP
ARGENTINA prides itself firstly as being more “European” than the rest, and more Italian than Spanish, and thus presumably more sophisticated. But why the unrealistic, rather infantile conviction, that the Malvinas (Falklands) belong to Argentina, and (on all their maps) Port Stanley is Puerto Argentino? The same maps do not even admit to the undeniable fact that the Malvinas are occupied by a foreign country. And if, as monuments all over the country attest, “Los Malvinas son Argentinas” why must Argentines who wish to visit “their” beloved Malvinas province, travel to Punta Arenas in Chile in order to do so? I’m sure this is not due to any British prohibition. Sorry, just a rant.
Observing the populace in the street it is clear that the jolly old tar-brush has been applied quite liberally in the poorer sections of the population, and this swarthiness is usually assumed to be of Indian origins. But then I read an interesting article “what happened to Argentina’s blacks?”. Although today there are virtually none, it seems that until about 1830, before the big European influx, Negroes were about 25% of the population. As there is no evidence of them being ever evicted, they must have been absorbed into the population, as happened with the Portuguese in the past and is happening to the Brits now.
Which may explain why, according to Prof.Richard Lynn (“IQ and the Wealth of Nations”), the Argentine IQ is in the low 90’s. Perhaps this also explains why Argentina can never seem to get its act together for more than a few years at a time, before going bust.
URUGUAY would probably be the country with the highest % of European ancestry, although paradoxically it has a lot more blacks than Argentina (which has very few). One cant help noticing that the taxis in Monte have a solid barrier between the drivers and passengers, which is not the case in Argentine taxis or elsewhere that I recall.
CHILE was the biggest disappointment to me because many years ago in Australia I had a Chilean girlfriend who hyped up her former country and hated being considered “part Indian”, although she clearly was. Regardless, because she was very attractive, I assumed most Chileans would also be, but this is not the case. The majority are chubby squat little Indios and anything but attractive. All SAM countries have a “Euro-elite” but they are usually a majority only in the smarter parts of the big cities. As in SAF, almost all hotel and restaurant clients are “white”. In Argentina and Uruguay whites are more wide-spread across the country, although less so in North West Argentina.
PRICES
A myth has arisen that SAM is very cheap, and in some ways it is, but this view partially stems from Argentina which, after its 2001 financial crash, was a great bargain for a few years, but prices have rapidly risen since my first visit 4 years ago. Supermarket food prices seem similar to SAF, probably somewhat higher, except red meat, which is cheaper. Petrol prices are similar to Saf, (Arg approx R8 per litre) – Chile and Uruguay somewhat more.
HOTELS and RESTAURANTS
Hotel prices are generally less than SAF, but their star ratings are bullshit – those claiming to be 3 star would struggle to get a 2 star rating in SAF, and quality rarely comes close to SAF standards, and the same applies to virtually everything else. As a resident, hotel prices will not affect you as much as restaurant prices, which are 20-30% dearer, with lower quality and repetitive menus. And, if you’re from the Cape, don’t even think about BWO wine..!
CARS
Judging by the number of clapped out 1960’s and 1970’s cars in Argentina, new car prices must be high. In rural parts of Uruguay – esp in Rio Uruguay towns like Fray Bentos – there are a remarkable number of antique cars (50, 60, even 70 plus years old) still on the road. Some of them have the steering wheel on the right as, until 1945, both Uruguay and Argentina drove on the left “British-style”. Chile has a much more modern stock of cars. I often joke that Chileans drive nice cars but live in wooden shacks, whereas Uruguayans drive jalopies but live in nice houses.
ROADS are no comparison with SAFs “apartheid-built roads” infrastructure, and where they are good expect to pay a toll.
POLICE PRESENCE
Heavy almost everywhere. In Argentina police checkpoints and roadblocks are frequent in the countryside. Not sure whether this is a good or bad indicator, but probably the latter.
POLITICAL DEMOS & STRIKES
An everyday event in the cities, and always accompanied by a loud banging of drums.
